Charmain Hibberd
Creative Media Assistant
CBN Europe
Single and Dating
Dating, undeniably, has its difficulties. Rarely do we meet our ‘person’ on the first try. Often, we will need to go on a few dates and experience a few ‘no’s’ before we find our ‘yes!’
As Christian men and women looking for a potential partner, we need to employ some wisdom. Haphazardly approaching this area of our lives can lead us to become bruised and obtain baggage that we must then work through later.
When considering this topic, I was reminded of the first thing my friend said to me before I walked into her church for the first time – be open.
Perceiving that I was a little apprehensive about going to her church for the first time, she wanted me to concentrate on keeping an open mind and welcoming the new experience.
I give this same advice to you when it comes to dating – be open.
If we approach dating with a negative, judgmental, and closed attitude, it is not likely that we will meet someone special. We will just pick them apart and find reasons not to give them a chance. Whereas if we remain open and positive, we will attract a similar kind of person who is willing – at the very least – to make a new friend.
It takes a while for people to reveal who they really are. We can all be guilty of sugar-coating ourselves upon a first or second meeting, but after time goes by, we start to peel back the layers of who we are and reveal our true selves. Give people a chance to do this. If a first date is clunky and awkward but you sense that there is potential, go for a second date and give them the benefit of the doubt.
This leads us nicely to the next piece of advice I have learned to follow over my years of dating – go for a coffee instead of dinner!
Let me explain.
Remember, you are a Christian! And as a follower of Jesus, we are expected and encouraged to display the fruits of the spirit in our character. (See Galatians 5:22-23) Behave well, treat others with respect, and remember – you are an ambassador of Christ wherever you go.
If you commit to a full on, 4-hour dinner as a first date experience, you may have bitten off more than you can chew. Why not consider going for a coffee and cake as a first date? That way, if you are enjoying each other’s company, you can extend the date to a longer experience, but if things are clearly not going well, you won’t have committed to more than an hour in the company of someone you know is not for you.
The next piece of advice may be obvious but it’s amazing how many people need to hear it anyway – look after yourself! Use this season of your life to get dressed up, look your best and present yourself well. Not only does looking your best and presenting yourself well give you confidence, but it helps the other person see the potential you have as a partner.
Finally, be kind. It’s normal to be very nervous on a first, second or even third date, so be kind.
Matthew 7:12 (NIV) tells us this:
‘So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.’
Remember, you are a Christian! And as a follower of Jesus, we are expected and encouraged to display the fruits of the spirit in our character. (See Galatians 5:22-23) Behave well, treat others with respect, and remember – you are an ambassador of Christ wherever you go.
Father God,
As complex as dating can be, I pray that the experience is a pleasant one on the whole for all who are reading this devotional. I pray that we all enjoy getting to know various individuals as we look for the one we will spend our lives with. Bless this process, God, and send your Holy Spirit with us into each and every date.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
