By Bridget Vogel

We have officially stepped into the holiday season where all is meant to be merry and bright. However, for many people, the holidays are another time to remember just how lonely they are. This is a time of year focused around friends and family, love and peace. And yet, for so many of those we pass on the street each day, these very things bring up more pain than peace. The lack of family, or the lack of relationship can be a difficult thing for anyone to face at any time of year, let alone this one.

I have spent much of my life away from family on the holidays. I’ve chosen a life in ministry quite far away from my actual home. I’ve also never been in a relationship until very recently, and have spent all of my adult years without someone to share this special time with. Seeing those around you cuddle up to one another, enjoy meals together, and find comfort in eachother can almost seem isolating at this time of year. It’s easy to feel separated from their special world. We can become victims to our situation, rather than take authority that we’ve been given by Jesus over our mind, will, and emotions.

And while in the past I’ve found this to be a season that I would rather avoid, even with all of its beauty, I had to come to a point of finding hope even in what could be a discouraging time. If you’re reading this and have felt the same, I absolutely believe you can too. It may sound strange, but getting through the holidays alone is completely impossible to do alone.

At this time of year, maybe more than ever, it’s so important to remain in God’s word. Married or not, in a relationship or not, with family or without, Jesus must live at the centre of your life. Your identity and security is found in no one else but him. As we take time at Christmas to thank God for sending Jesus to earth, it’s the perfect time to realign our life with his truth.

Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that he came so that we could have life and life abundantly. And that’s not just when we hit certain stages of life; that’s always. In Jesus, it is possible to have a full life regardless of the situations we’re in. Psalm 16:11 reminds us that God’s presence is the source of joy – the fullness of joy. And at his right hand are pleasures forever. How did the psalmist know this? Verse 8 tells us that it’s because he set the Lord continually before him; “therefore my heart is glad,” he says in verse 9.

And Paul, in his letter to the Philippians 4:19 so plainly brings up that God is the one who supplies everything we need according to his incredible riches. This is more than money, or a home, or food to nourish our bodies. This is your need for security and love as well. If it is not additionally coming from another human being, know that the fullness of love is coming to you from the source itself.

Step one, if you can even list them in steps, is simply immersing yourself in God’s Word and through that Word, immersing yourself in his love for you. It’s taking time to remember these truths, to see him and find his joy even in the middle of your loneliness. It’s being reminded that he sees the beginning from the end, that there is purpose, even in your singleness, and that his timing is completely right. He makes everything perfect in its own time (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Step two is a very practical one: do not isolate yourself – physically, emotionally, or spiritually. If you are invited to a Christmas gathering, make an effort to connect with the people there. Enjoy the conversation, enjoy the food, enjoy the fun. If you are with family, do all that you can to invest in them. Ask questions; learn, love, laugh. And if you find you haven’t received many invites to social gatherings, make a plan to invite others to hang out with you! You won’t be the only one feeling lonely this Christmas! Most of all, be present in the moments you experience with those around you.

Step three: do things you enjoy! The best way to meet people is by getting out and doing things that you love. Invite friends along to do these things with you! Maybe they’ll find a new hobby, or at least have a fun, holiday adventure. And if you can’t find anyone to go with you, go anyway! Get out there and live life!

The truth is, it’s easier to be sad. It’s easier to be alone with your feelings, and dwell on the things you lack. However, with a little bit of effort, and a lot of time with Jesus, this holiday season could be your best one yet. Renew your perspective by recentering your identity in Jesus. Be present with people. Live your life to the full. This is not a three-step process to being happy, but I am offering a few things that will help you feel less alone and more loved in this season. There have been times I’ve used these tools and times I haven’t. However, when I do make choices to get out of my own emotions and make time with others, loneliness is replaced by joy. Just give it a shot. There’s no harm in trying to have a merry Christmas this year!

 in Blogs, Lifestyle
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